


Big Brother: The golden power of the Zed PM Veto

by Anonymous



Category: Big Brother RPF, British Royalty RPF, Game of Thrones (TV), Kanye West (Musician), South Park, Star Trek RPF, Stargate Atlantis, Torchwood, Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey, due South
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Canadian Shack, Haiku, Multi, Omega Verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 03:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2332961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teams Alpha, Beta, and Omega battle to avoid getting stuck in the Canadian Shack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Big Brother: The golden power of the Zed PM Veto - Art](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2318555) by [In The Boop Boop Room (norabombay)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/norabombay/pseuds/In%20The%20Boop%20Boop%20Room). 



_Emotions are running high this week as Teams Alpha, Beta, and Omega battle to determine who will be relegated to the Canadian Shack Out Back for the next two months. The forecast is for snow, so you know: The pressure is on!_

**RayK** [pacing]: I just... the corgis aren't fair, yannow? They got this whole pack thing going. All those points they lost in the karaoke round, they're gonna be bam-pow, gettin 'em back in the fetching sticks competition. An I gotta say, I don' think my chances are good. I dunno. I just... [shrugs]

_And while Kanye is still looking for his stick out in the bushes, here comes a corgi now. Things are looking bad for the two-legged contestants._

**Sansa** [sitting at kitchen table]: Even if I _did_ have the ZPM, t'would be foolish to tell anyone. Best to keep quiet. Guard my position. Winter is coming. I will not go to the shack.


	2. commercial break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG THANKYUUUUUU to all my readers I love you all your commentsa re make me so happy &herts ♥

**Sansa** [sitting at kitchen table]: Even if I _did_ have the ZPM, t'would be foolish to tell anyone. Best to keep quiet. Guard my position. Winter is coming. The hounds are here. I will not go to the shack.

 **Ianto** [keeping an eye on the kettle]: I don't know why it's anyone's business what Jack's futuristic alien dick looks like. He says there aren't even Alphas, Betas, and Omegas in the future. Of course, he also shagged an entire sentient forest apparently, so what do I know? [swift turn, jabs spoon at camera] Fair warning, you in the plaid, omni-bloody-sexual doesn't include camera crew. Keep your wandering hands to yourself. I have a pterydactyl and I know how to use it.

_Wel, the tension is mounting and so are the dogs, as only humans are left in the contest now. Team Beta is in the lead as we enter the 38-minute Haiku Countdown, with just RayK, head of house Baelish, and the gay fish vying with each other to best express their feelings about autumn in 17 syllables._


	3. commercial break 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ry 4 late update, life has been just so CRAZY with worka dn school, but i LOVE all your comments and when i have a minute I7ll answer them all oaky? YOUR THE GREATEST!

_Wel, the tension is mounting and so are the dogs, as only humans are left in the contest now. Team Beta is in the lead as we enter the 38-minute Haiku Countdown, with just RayK, head of house Baelish, and the gay fish vying with each other to best express their feelings about autumn in 17 syllables._

**Kalira** [tossing her mane]: ~:~Let Captain Harkness think he will be Chosen. I answer to a higher calling than mere games, but if he wishes to make a sacrifice on my behalf, why should I say neigh?~:~ [frolics] ~:~ That was a joke. By the way.~:~

 **Kanye** [sewing little hearts on his wetsuit]: Attitude humble,  
Fucking leaves, gimme the rake,  
Gotta change cuz I'm gay


	4. commercial break 3

**Nichelle** [reclining on the sofa in a soft gray pantsuit, holding an elegant cup of fragrant tea in one hand] Well, everyone certainly has been very kind and Oprah has been such a sweetheart on Twitter, but no, I'm not going to play the party games. Like I told Kalira, as honorary holder of the ZPM vote I can stay until the excitement's over, but I'm certainly not staying in a shack. You should call George, he's a huge fan of the gay fish. They spent a week in Oahu last year. Kanye has a timeshare, you know.

 **RayV** [flicking a speck of dust off his Versachi trousers]: Nobody puts the Bookman in a shack. [leans forward with a killer's smile] Nobody. Except maybe Fraser that one time.

_That's a wrap for the last contest of the day! Which means the following contestants are Shack-bound! For team Alpha - Jack Harkness! Before we cut to commercial, Jack, kalira, and Benton Fraser locked themselves in the bathroom and hung a hat over the camera to discuss strategy -_

[fuzzy closeup of a hatband reading _property of B.S., Canadian Embassy_ ]: Yes - God yes - More - :~:Like that?~:~ - Over here - You know, Jack, I learned a fascinating story about the history of this position from an itinerant salesperson outside of Yellowknife... 

_But Kalira and Fraser, in a shocking turning of team tables, left Jack all over the floor while they both submitted poignant odes to the season - bonus points to Fraser for actually writing his haiku in Japanese!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not like I7m just writing for comments becaouse this fandom is like my life, but I don't know that I'm feeling this tory to be honest i mean is anyone still reading this? I feel like I7m out her all on my own and you know there are other things I could be doing, do you know how hard it is to follow all the twitters and stuff to do the reaaech it's not easy and I just feel like if all I get is a crappy 100 kudos a day then maybe you don't really deserve the story.
> 
> Yo know/


	5. commercial break 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you, kanyeshotbunzz and akso fuck YOU iiiiiiantooooo and I never want to hear from you again korgi-guy, WTF do you mean the story is all about dog erasure? You don't know a FUCKING thing about me or how much I love dongs so much, I have piucutes of dongs all voer my room because of how much I love them so why don't you DIE IN A FIRE.
> 
> I am, seriously like shaking and crying right now, there's snot all over, HOW COULD YOU

**Fraser** [sliding the knot on his lanyard up and down slowly]: Moe! Takibi, Momiji mangetsu, Ookami ha!

 **the gay fish** [swims]: Bloop.

 **Varys** [whispering]: I knew sansa was bluffing about the ZPM! I made a deal. Kanye's going down.

 **RayK** [flipping his sunglasses up, and then down]: Mother _fucker_. I _knew_ this would fuckin happen _you hear me Frase_? I'm gonna strangle harkness. He provosted me! You got the, the video. He can Alpha all he wants, this Beta's got his mumber. Fucker.

 **Kanye** [shaking]: smokin hot fever  
everything looks sexy oh crap  
ass like a slip'n'slide

_Alright, Guest of Honor Nichelle has engaged the chevrons and fired up the stargate. Head of House - what's your decision?_


	6. commercial break 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So like, it's been a few months, anyone still here? Let me know what you think fo the new direction I'm going in! If i get 20 comments, I'll post the next chapter :-)

**Baelish** [standing in front of the video display]: Can I get rid of all the dogs?

_No._

**Baelish** [frowning]: Can I vote against myself?

_No._

**Baelish** [crosses arms]: Fine. Then my final decision is


End file.
